Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize