I'm going to jail i love you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
