I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize