I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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