his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
