You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
