She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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