i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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