i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize