have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
