Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize