You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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