Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
