So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
