Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
