I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
