Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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