I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
