he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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