Everything about him screamed your future.
my being single is dangerous.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize