I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
