Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
