Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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