you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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