I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize