So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize