Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize