she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you told grandpa to call you daddy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
