As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
