I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
