Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
