He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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