feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize