absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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