At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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