Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
