I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i think i just lost a toe
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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