2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
