Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
