I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
