Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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