I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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