I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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