I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
