If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize