smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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