I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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