I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
