I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
