I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
