I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
