your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize