I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
