if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
