Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
