Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
