Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize