your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
