she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize