this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
