before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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