so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
