I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize