PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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