JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i came on her dog
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
