I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
